Ever hear that old song, “Fooled Around and Fell In Love?” It’s about a guy who sleeps with a parade of women and falls in love with one of them. Then he fools around with someone else. It may be popular to believe that only men fool around or seek FWB arrangements, but in my experience women are also guilty of taking sexual advantage of a vulnerable guy, only to move on and leave him in the dust. A little attention does not always mean someone wants a relationship.

And FWB arrangements aren’t limited to just sex. I’ve known women who’ve let smitten men to buy them drinks, dinner, and jewelry, encouraging them to think they’ll fall in love with them someday. I’m not a fan of Friends With Benefits arrangements. People get hurt. When two people want different things, someone may end up disappointed. Be honest with yourself about what you want before getting involved. Do not assume that gifts or attention mean a person is ready to offer commitment.

When a guy asks to be FWBs, he’s revealing a serious character flaw. He’s demonstrating the ability to reduce another human being into a toy for his personal pleasure. (In most cases, that would be a sex toy.) What a repellent quality. A person who wants intimacy without caring about the other person's feelings is showing you something important. You deserve to be treated as a whole person, not as a convenient arrangement. Pay attention when someone tells you what he wants.

When a person suggests you be his FWB, be thankful that you got the opportunity to glimpse his true nature before you got in too deep. Turn around and walk away. You are not a toy. You are a human being with a beating heart. Do not waste time with slutty men. You do not have to accept an arrangement that makes you feel used or leaves you waiting for affection that may never come. Choose someone who values you and wants the same kind of connection you do. Your feelings matter.